The Taming of Romano
by ZeroLuver567
Summary: A parody of my least favorite Shakespeare play, Taming of the Shrew.Spamono and Gerita. I might throw a little UsUk in there  too. Enjoy. Yeah for fail summary s!
1. Cast List

**The Taming of Romano: A Parody **

**Cast List**

Katarina: Romano

Petruchio: Spain

Bianca: Italy

Lucentio: Germany

Baptista: Grandpa Rome

Tranio: Prussia

Gremio: England

Hortensio: France

Grumio: America

Biondello: Japan

Christopher Sly: Russia

Lord: China

Hostess: Tiawan

Page: Korea

Players: Finland, Sweden, Iceland, Denmark, Norway

Tailor, Harberdasher: Austria

Widow: Belarus

Merchant: Switzerland

Narrators: Lithuania, Estonia, Latvia

**Servants in Pertuchio's Household:**

Peter: Sealand

Curtis: Holy Roman Empire

Nathaniel: Greece

Phillip: Chibitalia

Joseph: Chibi Romano

Nicholas: Hungary


	2. Induction Scene I

**Induction Scene I**

Sly and the hostess were outside of a bar. Sly had a smile on his face and a bottle of vodka in his right hand.

"I'm going to call the police," the Asian girl threatened.

Sly just smiled.

"You will all become one with Mother Russia, da?" he asked.

"Stay in character Russia!" a man with an English accent called out.

The hostess crossed her arms, "You won't pay for all of the bottles you smashed?"

"Nope!"

"I'm calling the police!" the hostess left, muttering curses under her breath.

Sly sat down in a chair clumsily.

"Do what you want. You will all become one eventually."

Sly fell asleep, his vodka falling out if his hand.

Latvia: Hi, we're your narrators for this story!

Lithuania: Why do we have to do this?

Estonia: Lets just get it over with.

**horn sounds**

Latvia: Look it's China, I mean the lord, returning from his hunt!

A Chinese man, the lord, rode up to the bar. Sly is still outside, asleep.

"Huntsmen, take care of my dogs. They're so cute aru! Make sure they have plenty of water and-"

Lithuania: China, please get on with it.

"Okay aru. What's this? A drunk?"

"He's breathing my lord. He has to be drunk, no one in their right mind would sleep in this cold," said one of the huntsmen.

"That's," he contemplated the drunk, "no HE'S disgusting aru." The lord paused, "I have an idea. Lets carry him to one of the bedrooms, put fine clothes on him, have a fine meal ready for him, and servants waiting on him in fancy clothes. He'll be so confused aru!"

One of the other huntsmen grinned.

"He wouldn't know a thing! That's brilliant my lord!"

"Then lets do it!" said the lord.

Lithuania: So servants carry the drunkard to a room and carry out their part in the trick.

**trumpet sounds**

Now who could that be?

"Sir!" cried a servant, "It's a troupe of actors!"

A group of five men entered the room.

'Yo! I'm so awesome I'll sweep you off your feet with my skills!" shouted a man with blonde hair that was styled so it kind of stood up in the front.

"Denmark stop it! Sir, is it alright if we spend the night here?" another man with a Finnish accent smiled at the lord.

"Of course you can aru. Actually can you do something for me? There is a lord here who has never seen a play before. Can you preform for him, no matter how strangely he acts?"

"If m'wife can do it so can I," said a Swedish man.

"Eh? Sweden…" the Finnish man gazed up at his companion, almost lovingly.

"Please make yourselves at home aru," the lord said. The players left the room, led by a servant.

The lord turned to another servant.  
>"Go get my page Yong Soo, and dress him up as a lady. Take him to the drunk's room and address him as you would noble women. Tell him that if he does this, he will make me very happy. Also, I'll give him that new video game he wants."<p>

The servant ran from the room, snickering.

"Ha, I can't wait for Korea to call Russia 'husband'. This will be hilarious aru!"

Lithuania: Stay in character China.

"Fine," the lord left the room, muttering in Chinese.

_**Lesson for this scene: If China catches you sleeping drunk he'll plot against you. Especially if you're a certain Russian…**_


	3. Induction Scene II

**Induction Scene II**

Lithuania: So now we rejoin Sly, surrounded by servants. The lord is among them, disguised. I can't wait to see how Russia will get himself out of this one.

"Can't someone give me some vodka?" Sly asked.

"Wouldn't your honor like some wine instead?" asked a servant.

"I'm Russia, I mean Christopher Sly. Don't call me you honor," stated the drunkard.

The lord smirked behind Sly's back, "Please put an end to this horrible fantasy! Your family is saddened by your illness!"

"Are you trying to make me go crazy? I'm nothing more than a tinker da?" Sly cocked his head, confusion swimming in his lavender eyes.

"Please sir, this is why your wife is mourning!" a servant said.

The lord saw his chance and went for it, "This is why no one will ever visit you. Do you want to sleep? Maybe hunt my lord?"

"I'm not a lord!" insisted Sly.

"You are nothing less than a lord. You have a noble and beautiful wife. Try to remember aru!" the lord ducked behind a servant to hide his smile.

"Is this a dream? I guess I really am a lord. Bring me my wife. Oh and don't forget the vodka!"

Lithuania: So the Page enters the room dressed as a noble woman… OH MY GOODNESS!

Korea: Is it really that bad -daze?

Poland: He looks like totally cute!

Lithuania: Why are you even here Poland?

Poland: To dress up Korea, duh.

Estonia: Back to the play

The Page smiled at Sly, "How is my noble lord?"

"Not bad. Are you my wife?" asked Sly.

"Yes…" the Page shot a dirty look in the lord's direction.

'They say I was sick for fifteen years. Is that true?" asked Sly.

The Page looked confused, "H-husband?"

"See the script says that I was asleep for fifteen years, da?" Russia said, breaking character.

The Page glared at the narrators, "You skipped that part."

Estonia: Too bad.

"Now I ask you to become one with me!" said Sly happily.

'What? NO -DAZE!" the Page began to panic.

Lithuania: A messenger appears

'The Players are here to show you a play, celebrating your recovery!"

'Okay, bring on the play," said Sly, "Is it about Christmas?"

"No, it is better!" said the lord.

"Yeah!" they all sat to watch.

_**Lesson for this scene: Russia needs his vodka. Don't take it away from him. **_


	4. Act I Scene I

**Act I Scene I**

Lithuania: A trumpet sounds and Lucentio enters with his servant Tranio.

Prussia: Why do I have to be West's servant?

Germany: Shut up! It's not my fault!

Estonia: **getting angry** BACK TO THE PLAY!

Lucentio sighed, his blue eyes locked onto the scenery around them, "Well, Tranio, here we are in Lombardy, garden of Italy, to fulfill my lifelong dream to see the city of Padua."

"Ha, you just want to get in Italy's pants," snickered Tranio.

"What? Nein! Can I go back to my monologue?" Lucentio narrowed his eyes at the albino.

"Whatever."

Lucentio, however, had lost the will to continue, "What do you think of all this?"

Tranio pulled out his script, "'As usual I am in complete agreement with you about everything' (pg. 31 No Fear Shakespeare, Taming of the Shrew) What is this? I don't agree with West about everything! And what was that citation interrupting my monologue?"

Lucentio rolled his eyes and ran his hand through his blonde, military cut, hair, "If only Biondello would get here," he blinked, "Who are those people?"

"Maybe it's a parade to welcome the awesome me and my un-awesome master to town!" said Tranio.

Latvia: Lucentio and Tranio stand off to one side.

Prussia: We don't even face them head on?

Latvia: No.

Lithuania: Baptista enters with his oldest, er, daughter Katarina and his youngest daughter Bianca.

Romano: What? Why do I have to be a girl?

Italy: Ve~you look so cute in your dress _Fratello_!

Romano: Come here you annoying little brother! **Runs off chasing Italy**

Lithuania: Um, anyways the two suitors to Bianca enter as well, an old man named Gremio and a young man named Hortensio.

France: Told you, you were old.

England: Shut it frog.

Estonia: **is purple with anger at this point**

"Enough!" the man called Baptista turned to the suitors, "You know how I feel. My younger daughter will not marry until my eldest is wed. If either of you want to court Katarina please do so!"

'She's to much for me," said Gremio, "What about you Hortensio?"

Kate crossed his arms; his amber eyes flashing, "Are you trying to humiliate me? I'm a man darn it!"

"We are not her suitors, "said Hortensio, ignoring the angry Italian, "Not until that harsh tongue of hers improves."

"Ha, I could care less. If I could I would throw tomatoes at you and make you look like an idiot!" spat Kate.

"Please Lord, keep me safe from all women like her," prayed Hortensio.

"Me too," said Gremio.

"I'm a man gosh darn it!"

Tranio's red eyes turned to his master, "This is hilarious! She's either crazy or extremely stubborn!"

Lucentio seemed distracted, "But her sister seems quiet and well mannered, as a young girl should be."

The father turned to his youngest daughter/son, "Bianca go inside. Whatever happens know I'll always love you, my little Italy!"

Lithuania: Rome!

"Spoiled brat. He'd cry right now if he had a reason too,"" complained Kate.

Bianca turned to face him, "_Fratello, _be happy for me. Grandpa Rome, I mean, Father I'll take comfort in my books and music, " Bianca suddenly opened his seemingly always closed eyes, "and PAAAAASTA!"

Estonia: **twitch**

Lucentio smiled, "She is wise,"

Hortensio seemed distressed, "Sir Baptista will you really be this cruel? Our goodwill should not cause Bianca unhappiness!"

"Why are you punishing her? It is this bloody witch that should be punished!" Gremio complained.

"I've made my decision. I know how much she loves music and poetry. I shall hire an at home tutor for her. Please tell me if you can recommend anyone. Goodbye gentlemen," Baptista followed Bianca into the house.

"What the crapolla? You're just going to leave me out here? I don't think so!" Kate followed his brother into the house.

Gremio narrowed his emerald eyes at the closed door, "Go to hell! Nobody wants you! Hortensio we can wait this out can't we? It'll be tough but we'll live. I mean hello IMMORTAL COUNTRY OF GREAT BRITAIN HERE!"

Estonia: **glares**

"Anyways," continued Gremio, "To prove my love to Bianca I will find her a good tutor."

"You just want to make North Italy one of your colonies. Either way I shall do the same," the Frenchman said, "I know we have never exactly been friends…"

"More like eternal enemies."

'Yeah. As I was saying, we should work together to find a husband for Katarina. What do you say?"

"As long as we can go back to being enemies later,"

Lithuania: So the two leave the scene.

Latvia: And Tranio and Lucentio are still there!

Prussia: Why are we still there?

Lithuania: Read the script and find out

Prussia: Um.. I

Lithuania: What?

Germany: He can't read.

Prussia: Shut up West!

Estonia: **is still purple from holding in his anger**

Lucentio turned to face Tranio, "I trust you Tranio so I'll tell you something. If I can't have Bianca for my wife I will surely die!"

"Haha! I knew it! West's gay!" Tranio grinned.

Lucentio blushed, "Can it bruder. Anyways will you help me?"

"You were so focused on Bianca that you totally missed Katarina's screaming fest. It was hilarious!"

"Will you help me or not?"

"Yep! I'll be glad to screw up your love life for you! I have an idea!" Tranio's red eyes flashed dangerously.

"So do I. Tell me yours. Only remove anything with violence, beer, or rape," Lucentio ordered.

Tranio seemed a little depressed by that, "Ugh fine. You should teach the girl as her tutor, disguised of course."

"I had the same idea," said Lucentio.

"It sounded more awesome when I said it," complained Tranio.

"Shut up. Now here's the plan…"

Lithuania: So the plan is, in a nutshell, that Tranio switches places with Lucentio and pretends to be him. They change clothes and the play continues.

Lucentio looked at his albino older brother, "You look nothing like me but I think it'll work. Now when Biondello comes he'll pretend to be your servant. I'll figure out how to keep him quiet about all of this."

"Eh, it's Japan, just ask him."

"You're breaking character…"

"That's cause I'm awesome!"

Latvia: Biondello enters.

Biondello, a short, Asian man stopped and stared at the two Germans.

Prussia: I'm Prussian!

Me: Not a country anymore. Sorry Prussia.

"Ah!" the man looked back and forth between the two, brown eyes filled with confusion, "Why is Tranio wearing Lucentio's clothes?"

"Come here and I will tell you," said Lucentio.

Lucentio, although he trusted Biondello, gave him his cover story.

"Tranio and I traded clothes to save my life. I killed a man in a fight when we came ashore and I am worried someone saw me. While I escape I want you to wait on Tranio as if he were me."

Me: Did you use his own moustache and a grape to kill him Germany?

Lithuania: Zero-chan!

Me: Sorry…

Estonia: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

Biondello nodded, "of course sir."

"Okay so Biondello," Tranio pointed at the Asian, "Make me a sandwich!"

"Prussia the script doesn't say that!" complained Germany, who was suddenly his serious self.

"So? Japan will do it anyways!"

"Do not assume Prussia-san. I'm not actually your servant," said Japan.

"Whatever. I'm so awesome; one day everyone will serve me. Especially stupid Asians."

"Um, bruder, Asians are stereotypically known for being smart…" Germany said.

"Whatever," Prussia glanced at Japan, "Man, you okay?"

Japan had completely dead paned, "Do you really feel that way Prussia?"

"Well duh," being self-centered he didn't notice that something bad was going to happen.

Prussia jumped as a sword point was pressed up against his throat.

"Ack!" Prussia ran, 'black' Japan following close behind.

Me: Get him Japan!

Lithuania: Um what happened to the play?

Latvia: Japan's scarring me…

Estonia: ARGH THIS IS RIDICULIOUS STAY IN CHARCTER! **Pants**

Japan: **returns to normal** Sorry Estonia-san

_**Lesson for this scene: Never piss off Japan. He has another power hungry, psychotic alter ego called Black Japan.**_


	5. Act I Scene II

**Act I Scene II**

Lithuania: So Petruchio enters with his servant Grumio.

America: Why am I the servant? I'm a world superpower!

Spain: I get to order America around? Cool!

Lithuania: **sigh**

Petruchio looked at the house in front of him, "I think this is my best friend Hortensio's house. Grumio, knock."

"You want me to punch someone?" asked the American. His blue eyes widened behind his glasses.

"I'm telling you to make a fist and pound!" Petruchio seemed to enjoy being the angry jerk for a change. Spain was usually so clueless about everything so he enjoyed having the upper hand.

"Um, I don't think I should punch you dude. I might hurt you. I dragged England's car around for two hours once…"

"We're at the gate now put your fists to work!" demanded the Spainard.

"Dude, you're being difficult, why should I hit you?"

"Moron, you really are dumb aren't you!" Petruchio seemed to hesitate before he grabbed the ears of the taller man.

"Ack dude not cool! Help!" he shook his dirty blonde head in an attempt to make him let go. Suddenly he paused, 'Wait, I'm the hero. Why am I asking for help? Hero's don't ask for help!

*TO BE CONTINUED*


	6. IMPORTANT AUTHORS NOTE

**Ok I am taking this opportunity to apologize for my lack of updates. **

**I won't make excuses, I'm just lazy so I am going to get a few points across..**

**1. As of this moment my only active stories are Tales of Mischief and Remember Me. I may update some others if I have time, but as of right now those two are my priorities. I would never get anything done otherwise.**

**2.I'm writing a Doctor Who fanfic... It contains OC's and I'm not sure if I should post it or not... It delves into the possibility of 11 and River having a child and the possibility of 10.2 and Rose having kids. Usual running, people getting killed, and enemies to defeat... I'm just wondering if anyone would read it.**

**3. Summer has just started for me (technically in two days but they're half days so they don't count)... but I'm taking some online latin courses before its over, so I'll try and update as often as I can before that slows me down. I'll also be a senior... oh boy**

**4. I'm going to Anime Expo here in Cali... I'm going as Jack Frost. Anyone going to be there?**

**5. Please, don't give up on me. I'm a lazy little shit but I promise to do my best in the upcoming chapters. **

**I guess that's it. I'll get back to writing updates :) Look forward to it**

**Love~**

**ZeroLuver**


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